The Good, the Bad and the Ronins, Chapter 4
MSTed by Artemis, tiakall, and respective disturbed people
Ryo: Do I get Rowen in this?
tiakall: For the last time, no. Now sit.
Ryo: *sulks*
Kento: *throws an arm around Dais* Dais ol' pal! Last I heard of
you, you were on your honeymoon with Mille in the second chapter!
Dais: Hardhead, roll over and die.
Dracky: Is anyone bleeding?
Kento: *grinning merrily*
Sage: I hate my life.
Slayer: Hi Kento.
Dracky: *to Sage* May I suck your blood?
Sage: Are you gay?
Dracky: No. I am the Prince of Darkness.
Slayer: He means the Blood no Miko.
Kento: Isn't miko a shrine maiden? As in, female?
tiakall: Yes...
Kento: *cracks up*
A week later all the armors were collected.
tiakall: Time flies when you're having fun.
Sage: Or when you're dead.
tiakall: You are so morbid...
The Torrent Armor…
Sage came up out of the water with the whale.
Slayer: *looks at Dais* Don't start.
Dais: I wasn't thinking it! Now who is being preverted?
Talpa-chan: I see someone wants my job, Slayer.
Slayer: ...
Talpa-chan: C'mon, you know you like it.
Slayer: Shouldn't you be making out with Washu?
Talpa-chan: Shouldn't you be making out with Seiji-chan?
tiakall: He's got you there.
Dais: Correction. The correct come back should be: Shouldn't you
be having kids?
Anubis: That's your come back, you idiot.
The whale dropped him off
Talpa-chan: Whoohoo! Doncha love a one-night stand! *sitting
closer to Slayer*
Slayer: Get away from me.
Dais: *to Anubis* That's all Talpa-chan can get.
tiakall: Actually, I think he's just doing it to piss her off.
Talpa-chan: Did you have to tell them? *sneakily turns Dais into
a cabbit*
Dais: ...
Anubis: ^_^ Talpa-chan, you're my new best buddy!
and left.
“Damn, the whale didn’t eat him,”
Sage: Yes, damn. It didn't erase me from this pitiful
existance.
tiakall: Someone needs Prozac.
Tia said in disappointment.
Arty: Geez, another "Hope he dies" no Miko.
tiakall: Eh?
Arty: Slayer is the Hope D dies no Miko, Anubis is the Hope Yuli
dies no Miko...get it?
tiakall: -_-;
“Be nice,” warned Anubis.
tiakall: Since when am I nice? *smashes Anubis into a puddle
of goo for the hell of it*
Kento: Goo. The other other indigestible cafeteria food.
Dais: ^______________^
The Hardrock Armor…
Tia ran at the large stone with a stick
tiakall: Where's my pencil, dammit?!
Gremlin: *burp*
tiakall: ...
Gremlin with nose ring: *bites Talpa-chan for the hell of it*
Arty: Maybe I should have brought Yui.
Talpa-chan: *squish* What Gremlin?
Hades: 'Ey! That's my Gremlin!
Peasants: Yay.
tiakall: We all knew they'd show up sometime.
Gremlis: *run at Peasants* EVIL!
Peasants: *vanish into wherever peasants go when they're not
saying 'Yay'*
Gremlins: *look around confused*
and started to beat it. The others just sweat dropped and
watched.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say her and Artemis
were related. They are both brain dead,” Sage moaned.
Slayer: *Dryly* He just realized this?
tiakall: Dude, we ARE related.
Slayer: You're both brain dead too.
tiakall: *squish* What Slayer? n_n
Talpa-chan: Hey.
“WHAT?!” Tia slowly turned around and looked at Sage. The cowboy became paler than he already was.
tiakall: Fangirl Dominatrix Mode, ACTIVATE!
Boys: *hide* o_o;;;;;;
tiakall: *looks around for a whip*
Dais: *offers one*
tiakall: :D *proceeds to thrash all visible boys*
“What the hell did you say?”
Hades: Tia not only has brain problems but hearing problems
too.
tiakall: You're not worth my time. Talpa-chan?
Talpa-chan: *looks at Hades and grins wickedly*
Ryo: Someone's in for it.
Rowen: Don't look, Ryo.
Slayer: Watch it, Talpa-chan, he might enjoy you.
Talpa-chan: *turns Hades into a chibi* Hm?
Slayer: Never mind.
“Uh…that you’re doing a wonderful job trying to get that armor?”
tiakall: Of course, I'm wonderful at everything.
Kento: Ego Popping-Pin, stat!
tiakall: *cracks whip*
Kento: ...meep...
Tia glared, “Good answer but...” She ran at him with her stick.
Dais: You do realize I can take that so many ways.
tiakall: Ooh! Arty, I got an idea... *whispers*
Arty: *listens*
tiakall: *meditates, then a magic necklace appears around Dais's
neck*
“AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Sage screamed as Tia chased him around the cliff.
Anubis: Damn! What a Ronin! Scared of a girl. Sick.
Dais: *nod*
Sage: You would be too if you lived with her.
tiakall: Now watch this, Arty. Dais, sit!
Dais: *slamms painfully into the floor* What the---??
Kento: *falls over laughing*
Rowen/Ryo: *snicker*
tiakall: BWA. Arty, you try.
Anubis: *proud* We're not scared of any girl!
Slayer: *gives Anubis a sideways look*
Anubis: *hides*
Kento: Loser.
Arty: I'll try later.
Dais: Fat boy!
Kento: Sit!
Dais: *slams painfully into the floor again* >_<
“DDDDIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!” Tia yelled. “DIE!”
The Strata Armor…
Tia looked up at the sky. “How the hell are we
getting it?”
“Don’t worry. We’ll think of something,” Ryo
assured her.
“Got news for you buddy, I’m not worried.”
“Oh…” Ryo sighed and looked back at the sky.
“AAAAHHHH!!!” A large firey rock was coming right at
him!
Gremlins: Yay...
Peasants: Boo.
Gremlins: *run at the Peasants again*
Peasants: *disappear again*
Pheasants: Moo.
tiakall: ...the hell?
Arty: o_O;; I don't want to know.
It hit him over the head and he fell to the ground.
Anubis/Dais: WOOHOO!
Ryo: Be-da. *sticks out tongue*
Rowen: Just ignore those cretins, Ry, they're just jealous.
Slayer: *mutters something about humans*
Dais: *mutters something about biting someone for blood*
“Ryo!” Tia cried out.
Rowen: *glares at tiakall*
tiakall: Fanfic, Rowen. Fanfic.
Rowen: Fine. *glares at Arty*
Arty: Ya know, and I was just thinking about letting Rowen get
Ryo in GBR2...guess he won't.
Rowen: Hidoi wa! ;_;
Arty: ...what?
Rowen: Zankokuna! *latches onto Ryo crying*
tiakall: Now look what you did.
Arty: >_<
Slayer: Don't mind her, Rowen. She's cruel.
Rowen: That's what I said.
“Buddy!” Sage said running to his best friends. “Are you okay??”
Kento: How many Ryos are there?
Rowen: *_* There's MORE?
Anubis: I think Sage wants Ryo.
Ryo: EVIL!
Sage: I want to DIE.
Slayer: You have problems.
Sage: Of course I do.
Slayer: *rolls eyes* Humans...
Ryo opened his eyes weakly, “Did someone get the number of that bus?”
tiakall: Wait. They had buses in the Wild West?
Ryo: They had mystical armors?
tiakall: Point.
Arty: It's my fic, of course they have buses.
“You’re okay!” Sage cried out glomping him.
Anubis: They're scared of girls, and gay.
Sage/Ryo: *look at each other, shudder, and scoot away*
Ryo: Rowen, he scares me.
Sage: I want to die. NOW.
tiakall: Not until the end of the MST.
“Wait! Hold you! I knew it!!” Tia cried out.
tiakall: I KNOW EVERYTHING, PUNY MORTALS!
“What?” Sage and Ryo looked at her.
Anubis: They took the words right out of my mouth. What could
she know?
tiakall: The quadratic formula.
Anubis: ...wha?
tiakall: See, you already bow to my superior intellect. Fear the
x squared.
“Sage is gay!”
Dais: No. Rowen and Ryo are.
Rowen/Ryo: Damn straight.
Kento: ~_~;;
Hades: *puts an arm around Kento* Don't be upset, Kenty-no,
you're not alone.
Kento: GAH! *beats Hades to a pulp* That's disgusting!
Arty: *looks farther down the chapter* Where is Dais in this? And
Skippy?
tiakall: You wrote this, you should know.
Kento: And why do you care? oO;
Arty: I also created Slayer but I know nothing about her.
“I am not!”
Dais: Yes Kento is! Oops, sorry.
Kento: Dais?
Dais: *bats eyes* Yes, love?
Kento: SIT!
Dais: Aw hell. >_< *hits floor hard*
“Uh huh!”
Anubis: Oh please, all Ronins are gay.
tiakall: *squishes Anubis* Please tell me we're not going to MST
all of the 'Uh huh, uh no's.
Arty: How many are there?
Rowen: Too damn many!
Arty: Let's skip down.
“Uh no!”
“Uh huh!”
“Uh no!”
“Uh huh!”
“Uh no!”
“Uh huh!”
“Uh no!”
“Uh huh!”
“Uh no!”
“Uh huh!”
“Uh no!”
“Uh huh!”
“Uh no!”
“Uh huh!”
“Uh no!”
While this went on,
Dais: *innocent look* Lalala...
Kento: We all knew Anubis had problems.
Anubis: *glare* At least I'm not you.
Kento: Oh, you're just jealous because I have a girlfriend and
you don't.
Anubis looked at the rock that had hit Ryo. First of all, Anubis noticed, it was the size of an orb and low and behold! It was the Strata armor!
The Wildfire Armor…
Tia, Anubis, Ryo and Sage looked down into the volcano.
Slayer: And fell in. The end.
Gremlins: Yay...
Peasants: Boo.
Pheasants: Moo.
Laser turrets: ZAP.
tiakall: ...eh?
Gremlins: *attack the Laser turrets*
Laser turrets: *fry Gremlins*
tiakall: *sniffs the air* Do you smell beef?
“I’m not going in there,” Tia said.
Slayer: Scared?
Talpa-chan: She's a virgin.
tiakall: ....
Slayer: You're worse than Dais.
tiakall: You just now realized this?
Talpa-chan: C'mon, Slayer, you know you want to 'go in there'...
tiakall: Thaaaat does it. PG-13.
Slayer: I don't want to 'go in there', I didn't make Dais and
Anubis MST that death match for nothing you know.
Talpa-chan: Yer no fun.
Dais: Slayer was 'busy' before she came here.
Talpa-chan: And how would you know?
tiakall: ... >_< Gross.
Dais: They make enough noise for the whole house to know!
Arty: >_<
All: ....
Slayer: Can I leave?
“Nor am I,” said Anubis.
“Don’t look at me,” said Sage.
“Fine, I’ll go,”
Talpa-chan: Ryo needs some sweet lovin'!
Ryo: *red* ...shutup.
Hades: Can I help?
Talpa-chan: *puts Dais in his lap* Sure. :D
Dais: O_O;; Hell no!
Kento: Sit!
Hades: But I want Ryo...
Dais: *hits the ground hard* Screw you, Kento.
Kento: I knew you were gay, Dais.
Dais: You know you want some.
Kento: From my girl, hell yeah!
Arty: >_< As the youngest person in the room I did NOT want
to know that!
Ryo said none to happy. To make this long story short, after three failed a temps Ryo finally did
Dais: Need I comment?
tiakall: Whoa, Arty, you should've let me proofread this first.
Arty: ...
get the armor.
The Yami Armor…
“Dais?”
“What?” Dais asked coldly.
Kento: SIT!
Dais: *hits the ground hard* Come here, Kento. I want to kill you.
Kento: Oh dear. My knees are trembling so hard I'd better sit
down before I fall over.
Dais: *hits the ground hard*
Hades: I love how you put Dais in pain, Kento.
Kento: ^_^ Me too.
Hades: *gets up and just sits on Kento's lap*
Kento: GAH! *beats Hades into a bloody pulp*
tiakall: Carnage!
Dracky: *_* Blood!!
“It’s dark.”
“Nah? I didn’t know!”
tiakall: Dais isn't the brightest crayon in the box.
Rowen: He's a few waves short of a tide.
Ryo: Dumber than a box of hair ring any bells?
Dais: *hits Rowen, tia and Ryo over the head then runs for his
life*
All: SIT!
Dais: *hits the ground VERY hard* >_<
Kento: Lights are on, no one's home, and there's a walrus in the
garage.
Sage: *decides to get in on the fun* Space cadet, ho!
Slayer: Got sick of wishing you were dead?
Sage: No, but let's face it, he IS an idiot.
tiakall: True dat.
Dais said sarcastically.
“…and he calls me the idiot,” Artemis said to
Skippy. Skippy just fell over.
The Doku Armor…
“AHHHHHHH!!!! SNAKE!” Dais yelled.
Anubis: *looks at Dais* You stupid Ronin.
tiakall: SNAKE! ^____^ I like snakes.
Kento: Okay, Sekhmet...
tiakall: *bops Kento*
Anubis: I knew tia was a little green.
Hades: You mean a little green man.
tiakall: *smushes both Anubis and Hades into goo*
Artemis looked at the baby snake no bigger then a few
inches. “…”
Skippy fell over laughing at the older scared to death outlaw.
The Oni Armor…
Tia yawned. “This is getting boring. Where’s the funny?”
Dracky: Where's the blood?
Talpa-chan: Where's the naughty? Bring on the naughty, dammit!
tiakall: Talpa-chan, this fic is only PG-13.
Talpa-chan: DAMN!
Slayer: With Dais and Talpa-chan here you want the MST to be PG-13,
what planet are you on?
Arty: Can't forget Slayer is here too. She ain't innocent.
Slayer: *glare*
“Can we enjoy the peace?” asked Anubis.
tiakall: *watching various gods, vampires and warlords totally
get their asses kicked* What peace?
Slayer: Notice how it's all the humans and vamps getting their
asses kicked.
tiakall: I can change that.
Anubis: Humor her, she's probably pregnant again.
All: ...
Slayer: I am not!
Arty: *Dryly* Yet.
“No.”
“…”
Ryo sighed along with Sage.
The Gen Armor…
“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! SPIDER! BIG SPIDER!!!!” Artemis
screamed at the top of her lungs.
“You’re scared of a spider?” Dais sighed.
“So? You were scared of a baby sna-“ Dais hit Artemis
and she hit the wall. “Ouch…”
“No one asked for your two cents for the cookie jar.”
tiakall: MONEY! *_*
In front of the cave of the Halo Armor…
“Just one more armor and we can go back,” Dais
told Artemis and her squirrel.
“YOU!” The three turned around and came face to face
with Tia.
“Oh look, it’s ugly,” Artemis grinned.
Hades: Which one?
tiakall: Anubis?
Kento: Dais?
Anubis/Dais: Huh?
Tia gave Artemis her deadly glare before she started chasing her.
Talpa-chan: Incest!
tiakall: *knocks Talpa-chan out with a frying pan*
Arty: EW! Talpa-chan that is gross.
The guys sweat dropped
tiakall: Since god knows that's about the only useful thing a
guy can do.
Guys: HEY!
Slayer: Some guys have a few more usefull habits.
Talpa-chan: *hentai grin* They sure do!
Slayer: I bet you've never even slept with a woman.
tiakall: Slayer! This is not the time or place to discuss Talpa-chan's
sex life or lack thereof!
Slayer: He started it!
tiakall: I'm finishing it!
Talpa-chan: *hentai laugh*
tiakall: Shut up, you.
as Artemis and Tia ran around them yelling threats and
curses at each other.
“Ugly!” Artemis yelled.
“Dead meat!” Tia said as she just missed the top of
Artemis’ head with her stick that she almost killed Sage
with earlier.
Sage: And you failed?!
Hades: *patpat* I can offer you a nice job in hell if you like.
Sage: Go away.
Hades: *puts his hand on Sage's arm* You would like it.
Arty: *turns Hades into a llama*
“Demon llama!” Artemis cried out and pointed.
tiakall: Look, Hades, you get a part in this fic too.
Hades: ....I am a god!
Kento: You're a llama.
Hades: God!
tiakall: All in favor of 'llama' say aye...
All: Aye.
Tia stopped. “Demon llama? Where?!”
Arty: *points at Hades* Right here.
Artemis took this moment to use Sage as a shield.
Dais: Talpa-chan, would you like to take this one?
Talpa-chan: At least she's having safe sex.
Arty: >_< Talpa-chan, go have kids with Slayer.
tiakall: ...
Talpa-chan: I have standards!
Slayer: So do I. I do not sleep with humans.
Talpa-chan: I don't sleep with those of questionable gender.
tiakall: Didn't I tell you guys to save this til later?
Slayer: *hits Talpa-chan with Horus*
Arty: I'd watch it, you do with live with her husband.
tiakall: *ignores large anime fight cloud in the background*
Moving on...
Ryo muttered something about Artemis having mental problems.
tiakall: Sanity is overrated.
Arty: Totally.
Hades: Arty never liked the swings.
tiakall: Eh?
Arty: It's a quote I use sometimes: If sanity was a playground
then I never liked the swings.
She glared at the cowboy still holding Sage as a shield
against Tia.
“Chicken boy! Say that to my face, ya limp noodle!”
Dais: XD Ryo is a limp noodle! Get it? Limp noodle?
Ryo: You're disgusting.
Talpa-chan: He makes perverted jokes to cover up his own sexual
insecurity.
tiakall: And so your reason?
Talpa-chan: I like stunning you into silence.
tiakall: ...
Talpa-chan: n_n
Dais: *to Ryo* I could comment more on you but I'm gonna be nice.
Ryo: Sit.
Dais: >< *hits the ground* Go screw Rowen.
tiakall: Don't give him any ideas!
Hades: Yeah! I want Rowen!
Rowen: O_O;; *clings to Ryo* Ry....
she yelled. Ryo glared at her and pulled out one of the
Wildfire swords.
“Yike!” Artemis cried out and jump landing in Sage’s
arms.
“Yeah! Cut her up into pieces!” Tia cheered on.
tiakall: Bad me! *slaps self and knocks self unconscious*
All: ...
Anubis looked at Dais and the outlaw nodded.
“Hey Tia?” Anubis said.
“Yes?”
“Spider.”
Tia turned around. “SPIDER!!!!!” The bar wench ran and
jumped into Ryo’s arms.
Hades: No fair!
tiakall: I bet it's not even the creepy bracket-fanged spider.
“…”
Sage laughed, “Artemis, you’re an idiot.”
Artemis smiled, proud of herself, “Thanks! Wait a second…”
She thought his comment over. “HEY!”
“Come one, come all and see the walking idiot! It’s so
dumb IT can’t walk and crew gum at the same time! Notice the
‘IT’ comment,” Tia cried out from Ryo’s arms.
Artemis glared at her, “Go jump in a lake.”
“After you,” Tia offered.
“Bitches first.”
Arty: Shouldn't Slayer be going first then?
Slayer: *hits Arty* And I've been nice to you.
“Normally I would like that ‘bitch’ comment but in this case,
Rowen: The sad thing is she probably does.
tiakall: ^____^
Rowen: -_-;
like I said, ‘after you.’”
“Wench!”
“Thank you. Idiot.”
“The people of my planet are much more smarter than you mere
humans!”
Slayer: And Ryuujin Slayers are smarter than all of you.
tiakall: Ha.
Kento: Ditto.
Slayer: Watch it. I only gave you Chibi Ryo because I was going
to leave, I never left.
“Oh my god!!! Proof she’s not from this world! Proof from her own mouth! Quick! Someone called the FBI, I found an alien!”
tiakall: You have an FBI in the Wild West?
Arty: Yes. The same way they have buses.
“Okay you two. Break it up,” Anubis told them.
Artemis and Tia glared at him. “Stay out of this, ya limp
noodle!” They looked at each other they started to glare
again.
Dais: *innocent look* Lalalalala....
tiakall: *bonks Dais*
Dais: What was that for?!
tiakall: Would you rather I tell you to sit?
Dais: >_< *hits ground* Talpa-chan is just as bad!
Talpa-chan: I'm better than bad, I'm good!
tiakall: You're log!
Kento: It's log, it's log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood... *drops
a log on Dais*
Dais: >_<
“Come on you,” Dais said as he grabbed Artemis and pulled her away.
Arty: Dais must have been abused when he was younger.
tiakall: So he's what now, bi?
Arty: You just now realize this?
*everyone scoots away from Dais*
Dais: ...
“We have an armor to get.”
“Hold it!” yelled Ryo, “That armor is ours!”
tiakall: Actually, sadly, it's Dais's. Don't let it go to your
head, Dais.
Dais: ^_^ My armor you stupid Ronin!
tiakall: Course, that was Talpa's idea to give it to Dais...nuff
said.
Talpa-chan: o.O
Dais: Sorry Talpa-chan, I don't swing that way.
tiakall: Taking that the wrong way and regretting it, huh?
Talpa-chan: u_u YES. Sit, Dais.
Dais: *hits the floor* >_<
Slayer: You know you enjoyed the comment,Talpa-chan.
Talpa-chan: Watch it, Slayer, you'd make a cute cabbit.
Slayer: And you would look nice in a coffin six feet under.
Arty: Now children, play nice.
Dais grinned. “Not if we find it first.”
No one was getting rid of the other
tiakall: Losers.
Dracky: Where's the freak'n blood, damnit? Someone kill someone!
tiakall: *helpfully* You can kill Dais...
Dais: No, you can't kill Dais.
All: Yes he can.
so they all followed each other into the cave in search of
Dracky: *_* Blood?
tiakall: *_* Money?
Kento: o.O
tiakall: Wha? I'm a poor college student.
Dracky: *hits tiakall* No! Blood, dammnit!
tiakall: *smushes Dracky* Take your blood and shove it your ass,
Dracky!
Random Gremlin: *bites random person*
Dais: Ow! *boots Gremlin across the room*
Random peasant: YAHOO!
tiakall: oO;;;
Gremlins: *go red eyed and jump at Random peasant*
Random peasant: *gone*
tiakall: Give up, Gremlins.
Gremlins: *begin to go insane*
the armor. The cave was dark but they could still see
where they were going.
“I think we took a wrong turn,” said Anubis.
Ryo: No surprise if he's leading...
Anubis: *glare* At least I know how you go straight, you
fruitcake.
Ryo: You're just jealous because you want to be gay.
Anubis: No, I just want several people to die.
Hades: *_* Death?
Dracky: Blood?
They heard a loud thud.
“What was that?” asked Ryo.
tiakall: The body I had stuffed in the closet. Give me a minute to cram it back in.
Tia looked down one of the tunnels. “Oh no…”
Dracky: *_* Blood?
tiakall: As if something like THAT would make me go 'oh no'.
Dais: Seeing Ryo nude would make you go 'oh yes'.
Ryo: ...
tiakall: I plead the fifth.
Kento: Now, if it was Yuli...
tiakall: *nosebleed*
Kento: ...that's disgusting. ><
“What?” asked Sage.
“We’re in trouble.”
“You're only in trouble when you get caught,”
Arty: Words to live by.
said Artemis before she looked where Tia was looking. “Big rock!!”
Kento: Descriptive.
tiakall: Now, this rock, would you say it was smaller or larger
than the building? You can talk about it among yourselves.
“Wha-?”
Arty: I think she has to repeat it.
Dais: To many big words for the Ronins.
The others looked to see a large rock rolling towards them.
Skippy squeaked then took off running.
“For once, the squirrel has got something!”
Rowen: A Lolicon?
tiakall: *snickers*
Tia yelled as she took off running too. The seven ran down the cave hall away from the rolling rock. Along the way they got split up. As fate would have it, Dais, Skippy, Sage, Tia and Artemis ended up together.
Slayer: Don't you hate fate?
tiakall: Artemis is cool. Sage is debatable. Even the squirrel is
debatable. But Dais? That just sucks.
Dais: No. But I know a few other people who do. *points to Ryo,
Rowen and Talpa-chan*
tiakall: >< Dais no hentai! SITSITSITSITSIT!!
Fate: *goes up to Slayer* Well, I hate you too you apple!
Dais: >_< *hits the ground several times very hard*
At least they lost the rock.
tiakall: I preferred the rock over Dais.
Kento: Arty, you wrote this. You could've at least bumped him off...
Arty: I thought I'd let him live so him and Kento could get it on
later.
Kento: You are SICK!
Arty: No. I live with Dais and Slayer.
Slayer/Dais: ...
tiakall: I think Dais's purpose is to make the rest of us look
better.
“Spider!” Tia yelled.
“Where?” Artemis said turning around and shooting the
large spider with her gun.
Dais: Aw! The poor spider!
tiakall: tiakall: BWAHAH! Death to the bracket-fanged spider!
Bracket-fanged spider: Death to the Yuli no miko tiakall!
tiakall: *SQUISH!* What spider?
Tia’s eyes widened. “I don’t believe it! Artemis did something right! Hell has frozen over!
tiakall: It did? Did I update my webpage? oO
Arty: Really? *goes to look*
The world is at an end! Someone pinch me! I’m
dreaming!”
Artemis tried to think of a comeback as Tia looked around.
“Artemis, shoot Sage!” Dais said seeing this as a
perfect to get rid of the cowboy.
Slayer: Dais isn't man enough to do it himself.
Kento: But that implies that Dais is a man, period.
Slayer: True.
Sage: *looks ahead hopefully*
Dais: I'm more of a man than you two.
tiakall: That would be because Slayer and I are female...
Slayer: Thank you, tia.
tiakall: I suppose a neuter gender is more masculine than a
female...
It would have been if Artemis was listening to him and understood what he said.
Arty: Sorry, Sage. You didn't get shot.
Sage: ><
tiakall: But really, who listens to Dais?
Slayer: Can I ask why you want to die?
Sage: Because life sucks?
Dais: So do Ryo, Rowen and Talpa-chan.
Talpa-chan: *mutes Dais*
“What?” Artemis said turning around and her gun
went off just barely missing Sage’s head.
“You missed! How could you miss? He was three goddamn feet
in front of you!”
tiakall: How long is a goddamn foot?
Rowen: I dunno, where's my US/profanity conversion chart?
Dais yelled. Artemis was clueless in what was going on.
Anubis: As always.
Tia lit up with an idea.
“Artemis! Shot Dais!”
All: *light up*
Dais: *grabs a Gremlin and throws it at the nearest person*
Peasant: *eats Gremlin* Yay.
Gremlins: O_O *run*
tiakall: o.O; Moving on...
“Since when do I take orders from you?” Artemis
glared coldly.
“Damn. I thought it would work.”
All: *disappointed*
Anubis: Why can't Sage die already?
tiakall: Ask the author.
Arty: Because Sage is my favorite Ronin, that's why.
tiakall: ....why?
Arty: Because I said so.
Skippy jumped on Artemis’ shoulder. As he did, the ground beneath her, her squirrel and Tia gave way and they fell. Luckily, there were vines in which they grabbed so they wouldn’t fall. Tia looked down and saw Artemis right below her. She would easily make her fall…an evil grin crossed Tia’s face. That was until she heard a voice.
Anubis: *to Dais* What's the number to charter? tia is hearing
voices.
tiakall: And this is new?
Kento: I hear voices too. I hear Anubis's voice, tia's voice..
“You’re not going to make her fall are you?” the voice asked. A little angel appeared on her shoulder.
tiakall: Aw, isn't it cute?
Arty: It's a tia shoulder angel, it probably has a tail and horns.
tiakall: No, that one's coming up.
“A shoulder angel?” Tia asked. “I didn’t know I had one.”
Dais: You don't. For this fic it had to be borrowed from
Dracky.
Dracky: *clueless* I have a shoulder angel?
tiakall: *checks shoulders suspiciously*
A little red devil appeared on her other shoulder,
Slayer: Now that's more like tia.
“Don’t listen to her. She’s trying to lead you down the path of goodness. I’ll lead you down the path that rocks!” The little devil pulled out a rock.
Kento: That's corny, Arty. And this is coming from me.
tiakall: *laughing her ass off*
Kento: ...
Arty: In case you've forgotten, Kento, that whole fic is corny.
“Oh, come off it,” said the shoulder angel.
“You come off it,” was the shoulder devil’s answer.
“You.”
“You.”
“You.”
“You infinity.”
“Aw…” the shoulder angel said defeated.
Talpa-chan: Good always triumphs because evil is dumb. ...waitaminute...
tiakall: Dyslexia. It warns without striking.
Dais: Why is he quoting the end of the chapter?
Kento: A better question, how did he manage to screw it up?
Dais: The same way Talpa screwed up beating a bunch of boys.
“Listen, I’ve got three reason why you shouldn’t listen to that shoulder angel. Number one; she’s got that sissy music stringy thing.
Slayer: tia's angel is very descriptive.
tiakall: Band SUCKS!
“We’re been over this, it’s a harp,”
the shoulder angel said.
“Oh yeah, and that’s a dress,” the shoulder devil
said referring to the white dress the shoulder angel wore.
“It is.”
“Reason two; look what I can do!” The shoulder devil
did a one-handed handstand.
tiakall: I can't do that.
Gremlin: *looks at the shoulder devil* Dinner....
Peasants: Yay.
Gremlins: *run at Peasants*
Peasants: *eat Gremlins again*
Arty: o_O
“What does THAT have to do with anything?” Tia said confused.
Dais/Hades/Dracky: Everything!
tiakall: 42.
Artemis looked up at Tia. Who was she talking to?
Dais: Her self, again. All tias do. Just like Anubises don't
fly.
Anubis: Let's NOT bring that up.
tiakall: *drops Anubis out the window* Has anything changed?
Anubis: *hits the ground head first*
tiakall: *takes notes* Nope, Anubises still do not fly. Wonder if
Daises do...
Slayer: That was uncalled for, tia.
tiakall: It's all in the name of research, Slayer. Don't try to
impede scientific progress.
Arty: They sit nicely.
Dais: *hits the ground hard* >_< Damn you.
Slayer: Yeah, but a dead Anubis does me no good.
Arty: You could see if Ryuujins fly, tia...
“No, no,” said the shoulder angel, “she has
a point.”
“Listen, you two are confusing me
Dais: Not a hard thing to do.
tiakall: SIT!
Dais: >_< *hits the ground*
so how do I get rid of you?” Tia asked.
Dais: *mutters* How do we get rid of tia?
tiakall: Time to pull out a Ki-chan joke. *sings to the Spam song*
Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, lovely siiiiiiit,
wonderful siiiiit!
Dais: *hits the ground many times*
Ryo: Is he dead yet?
Rowen: We can hope.
“That’ll work,” the two said before disappearing.
Gremlins: Yay...
Random Gremlin: *looks out for Peasants*
Another Random Gremlin: *sits in Ryo's lap* I love you.
Ryo: *skewers Gremlin and offers it to the peasants*
Peasants: Yay. *eat*
Gremlins: Evil! *attack Peasants and Ryo*
Ryo: Flare Up Now! *roasts Gremlins*
Hades: Hey, those things are expensive, you know!
“…”
tiakall: *looking at Gremlin/Peasant thing* Yeah, my reaction exactly.
Meanwhile, Skippy saw that help wasn’t coming anytime soon so he used Artemis and Tia as a ladder and climbed up.
Slayer: The sad this is, the squirrel is the smartest one out
of everyone.
tiakall: What's sadder, if you were in it, nothing would change.
Slayer: No. You all would be dead.
tiakall: But the squirrel would still be the smartest.
Kento: Dude, don't diss squirrels. They're smarter than you think.
Squirrel: Yes! Listen to the hardheaded one. We all rule the
earth!
Peasants: *eat squirrels* Yay.
tiakall: Has someone not been feeding the peasants?
Rowen: They get fed?
tiakall: ....
“…” The two girls looked at each other.
Dais and Sage looked down at the two.
“This is where I walk away,” Dais said.
“You’re not going to help me help them?” Sage
asked.
“Let me think about that.” Dais did.
Anubis: O_O Ahh! Run! Hide! Thinking Dais, evil! *hides*
Dais: *glares*
tiakall: For once, I'm with Stupid. That IS scary.
Anubis: HEY!
Dais: Shouldn't you be having kids with Ryo and Rowen?
tiakall: Shouldn't you sit down now?
Dais: *hits the ground* >_<
“Nope.”
“Heartless bastard,” Sage growled.
Dais: So I'm the heartless dog? Who's the idiot growling?
Sage: Shut up, 'space cadet'.
“Thank you.”
Tia looked up at the two. “Morons.”
Slayer: That's the best you can come up with for them?
tiakall: No, but this IS a PG-13 fic...
“We’re going to die. That’s it for me!” Artemis whimpered.
Arty: Aw, poor me... *Sniff*
tiakall: You can't die, you're the comic relief.
Talpa-chan: So what does that make everyone else?
tiakall: Uh...more comic relief?
“Shut up and let me think.
Hades: Now, THAT'S scary.
Dracky: Arty shutting up and tia thinking? What is this world
coming to?
Hades: A normal phrase?
tiakall: Especially when I'm thinking of ways to inflict pain on
you guys, yes, it's quite scary. *psychotic grin*
Hades/Dracky: *use half eaten Gremlins as protection*
Those two aren’t helping so we have to get out of this ourselves,” Tia snapped at her.
Anubis: tia's a snapping turtle!
tiakall: With nasty sharp pointy teeth, too.
Slayer: I knew you weren't human.
tiakall: No, I'm insane.
Arty: That's beside the point.
“In other words, you want me to have patience and wait before screaming for help?”
Arty: I don't think I can do that. Can you do that tia?
“Patience is a virtue,” said Tia. Skippy looked
down at the two and dropped a rock to see where the bottom was.
They listened for the rock to land. And listened, and listened,
and listened…
“Not right now it isn’t!”
Just then, Ryo and Anubis came in. Dais grabbed Sage
Talpa-chan: Dais! You naughty boy!
Sage: >_<
Dais: Wha? I wanted to get my kicks in before the stupidness of
the fic killed me.
Sage: Shi-ne. *begins beating the shit out of Dais*
and threw him into the hole. Sage yelled out as he grabbed a vine by Tia and Artemis.
Dais: Oh! A threesome! And Talpa-chan yells at me.
tiakall: tiakall: He's still alive, Sage.
Sage: *commences beating again*
Dais: *lets out a girly scream*
“Welcome to our little party,” Tia said dryly.
tiakall: Hor d'ourves?
Arty: Wha?
tiakall: I got chips, pigs in a blanket, dips... *gesturing to
Anubis and Dais on the last word*
Anubis: Do you know how easy it would be for me to throw you out
the window?
tiakall: Dunno, let's find out. *tosses Anubis out the window* Oh.
That wasn't too hard.
Kento: You've got it backwards, tia.
tiakall: Oops.
Dais: She's always been backwards.
tiakall: I don't like the swings either.
“Thanks,” Sage said dryly back.
“I’ve heard of hanging around with friends, but this is
taking it a little far,” Artemis said referring to the fact
they were hanging around.
“I’ve got news for you,” Tia said down to her.
Arty: Looky! tia is the New York Times!
tiakall: WHOOHOO!
Rowen: It's the crime report section...
tiakall: Eheh.
Slayer: Someone didn't take their medication this morning...
“What?”
“We aren’t friends.”
tiakall: We're SISTERS! *glomps Arty*
Ryo: *sings* We can't be friends...
Arty: ^_^ Yup!
“Point taken.”
“Sage!” Ryo cried out. “Sage!”
Dais: *innocent look* Lalalalalalala....
Ryo: Rowen! Rowen!
Rowen: ^_^ Ryo! Ryo!
Kento: Knock it off, you two, that sounds sick.
Dais: If you two are going to be like that, at least do it in a
corner.
“I’m okay!” Sage yelled back.
tiakall: I'm not dead yet!
Sage: Unfortunately.
Dais: Damn!
“So, Ryo, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb,” Dais said wickedly.
Dais: ^_^ Oh yeah, bow down to the master.
tiakall: You've got it backwards.
Dais: Go sleep with Rowen.
Rowen: Yuck!
tiakall: ...
Kento: Sit!
Dais: *hits the ground* Hey look! Shirtless nineteen year old
Yuli!
tiakall: *nosebleed* Dammit, Dais!
Dais: *snicker*
tiakall: SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Dais: Aw damn. *hits the ground very hard*
Tia gave a weird look, "And he's the smart one. I take it back Artemis. Dais is dumber than you.
Kento: Um, duh...
Talpa-chan: Anyone is smarter than Dais.
Arty: Expect Slayer.
Slayer: *innocently knocks Arty out of her chair* What was that?
I didn't hear it.
tiakall: Except Slayer!
Slayer: At least I'm not human.
Kento: And this makes you happy?
Arty: Slayer human would be a bigger insult on our species than
Anubis and Dais being human.
Slayer: Hmp. *leaves*
Talpa-chan: Elvis has left the building.
Dais: About damn time.
I didn't think that could EVER happen."
“…” Artemis was insulted. "... I'm so loved."
“How could you do that to someone? And, I saw you walk away
when Sage asked you to help him save Tia and Artemis,” Ryo
said coldly to Dais.
“Which we still need saving!” Tia and Artemis cried out
at the same time.
Arty: MY brain!
tiakall: I had it first!
Arty: Did not!
tiakall: Yuh huh, I'm older!
Arty: Uh huh, I'm Arty-er!
tiakall: ...
Tia looked down at Artemis. “Stop doing that!”
“What? You did it!”
“Boohoo, now I feel really bad, bad outlaw, bad,” Dais
said making a face.
Anubis: Dais is insulting the Disney Llama.
Llama: Square! ><
Anubis: o_O What the--?
tiakall: You just had to bring the llama into it, didn't you?
Anubis: I didn't know!
“That’s it,” Ryo said pushing up the selves of his shirt and making fists, “You and me. Let’s go.”
Dais: ^_^ Lalalala...
Talpa-chan: I think Dais is jealous. He needs some sweet lovin'.
Dais: At least I know how to get some.
All: *fall over laughing*
Dais smirked and did the same to his selves.
tiakall: How many of them do you have?
Dais: ...oh shut up.
Rowen: Welcome to the Insanity Hotline. If you have Multiple
Personality Disorder, press 3, 4, 5, 6...
“Ladies first.”
Ryo and Dais started to go after each other.
Dais: I bet Talpa-chan is jealous.
Ryo: This is disgusting. SIT!
Rowen: SIT!
Dais: *hits the ground hard* You know you both want me.
tiakall: *screams in horror* Gods, what nasty mental images!
Anubis tried to get around them and to the hole. He stood next to Skippy and looked down at the three.
Anubis: Please tell me I don't have a shoulder angel.
tiakall: I thought you were waiting for the squirrel to kick you
into the hole.
Kento: Now THERE'S a plot device!
Anubis: *begins to cut the vines* I hope you all fall and die.
Talpa-chan: Stop getting ahead of the story.
“Should I ask?” he said.
“She did it!” Tia and Artemis pointed at each other.
Arty: *tears* It's all oneesan's fault!
tiakall: Oh, sure. Blame the big sister. What the heck, easy
target.
Arty: :P You made me write this.
Anubis sighed and Sage sweat dropped. This didn’t
stop Dais and Ryo from fighting.
“Before you die there is something you should know about us,
Ryo,” Dais told the cowboy.
“What?”
Talpa-chan: *as Dais* I have the IQ of a casserole.
Kento: I'm really George Bush in a dress.
Dais: *kicks Kento* At least I'm not fat like you. *sits down
before someone says it* :P
Kento: *picks up Dais and holds him high* Any time!
tiakall: One minute, I'm recovering from that horrid mental image.
Talpa-chan: *deep breath, then bellows* SIT!
Dais: *hits the ground hard* >_< Go make out with the wall.
Kento: But I wouldn't want to deprive it of you!
“I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's sister’s ex-husband’s mother’s son’s cousin twice removed great aunt’s brother’s former roommate,” Dais said with a straight face.
All: What?
tiakall: I mean...don't you know, it is illegal to kill a wild
pig in the king's forest!
All: ...
“Huh?” Ryo said confused, “What the hell does that make us?”
Arty: Cousins no way related?
Anubis: Nothing?
Dais: Lovers?
Ryo: EW! *clings to Rowen*
Rowen: Stop that, you'll scar him for life.
“Absolutely nothing!
Anubis: HA! Told you, who's smart?!
Which is what you are about to become after I put a few bullet holes you in,” Dais said with an evil grinned then evil laugh. The outlaw pulled out his gun and pointed it at Ryo. There was a cracking sound.
tiakall: *hides whip innocently*
“Did you girls hear that?” Sage asked.
Dais: Tia and Artemis are deaf.
tiakall: Dais, did you say sit?
Dais: >_< *hits the ground hard*
tiakall: I'm sorry, I can't hear you because I'm deaf. Are you
sure you didn't say sit?
Dais: *hits the ground hard then hits tia*
tiakall: Okay, that does it. *drops Dais out the window, and
while he's still in the air, yells* SIT!
Dais: >_< Damnit! *hits the ground very hard*
Tia and Artemis nodded. Beneath the threes not hanging, the rest of the ground gave way.
Arty: That can't be good.
tiakall: Yeah, especially when Tias don't fly.
Anubis: Neither do Anubises.
The vines in which the three were hanging from broke.
“Not good,” Tia said weakly.
Hades: Is death coming?
Dracky: How about blood?
Sage: *looks up at the mention of death*
tiakall: Sage, you should get along with Hades just fine...
Sage: Should, but I don't.
tiakall: Why?
Sage: Because I hate him.
Hades: I hate you too.
Sage: Good.
Dracky: I love you Sage. Can I bite you?
Sage: Go away, girly man.
“Very not good,” Artemis agreed.
“I hate you two,” Sage said with his eyes closed.
Arty: He doesn't like us, tia.
Sage: Don't take it personally. I have a general dislike of the
world.
Arty: You really need mental help.
Sage: And?
tiakall: He was mentally traumatized when he got here.
Arty: And so was everyone else, your point?
The three fell along with the others.
*************************************************
tiakall: Lookit all the pretty stars!
Kento: Someone's reading ahead...
Arty: Are we done yet?
Ryo: Please say yes...
Anubis: Ryo thinks he has a hot date he needs to get to.
Ryo: *grins at Rowen*
Kento: >_< You had to give him the idea, didn't you,
Anubis?
Anubis: *snicker* You Ronins aren't that bad, you're good to get
a laugh out of.
tiakall: Likewise.
Anubis: Shouldn't you be making kids with Ryo-chan?
tiakall: Shouldn't you be sulking over the fact that I have a
love interest and you don't?
Anubis: Hey, I stalk Seifer...
“Oooooooooo! Lookit all the pretty birdies!”
“Artemis, you have no shame do you?”
tiakall: Oh yes she does. Try talking to this girl when she's
in a depressive snit.
Arty: What does that mean?
tiakall: *hums innocently*
Arty: *mutters something about turning her oneesan into a
teletubbie*
tiakall: *glares* Want to smooch one again?
Kento: ...again?
Arty: What do you mean 'again'?
tiakall: *offers Kento her blackmail pics*
Arty: Where did you get those?!
tiakall: Sore wa himitsu desu! ||^_^||
Arty: English.
tiakall: That's a secret!
Arty: Fine. *leaves*
Kento: Elvis already left the building....
tiakall: Imouto-chan! *runs after her*
“Why? Like bar wenches do?”
“DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Talpa-chan: I always knew tia was a bar wench in another
life.
Kento/Ryo/Rowen: *aren't saying anything for fear that Talpa-chan
will realize they're there and tia is not in the room*
Anubis: And you knew this how?
Talpa-chan: Sixth sense.
Hades: Makes up for the rest he doesn't have.
Dracky: Wait...Talpa-chan has sense to begin with?
Talpa-chan: I've sure got you beat, chibi boy. *chibi-izes Dracky
as well*
Dracky: I want to suck your blood.
Talpa-chan: I'd watch your step, my magic's known to get very
messy sometimes.
Dracky: You should be worshiping me!
Hades: Yeah! Me too!
Talpa-chan: *points and turns Dracky and Hades into pink donkeys
with wings*
Kento: Oh, look, flying asses.
Dracky: ....I want my lawyer.
Hades: ;_; I want my mommy.
Rowen: The only thing that changed is the flying part...
Dracky: At least I'm not a blue haired mortal.
Rowen: At least I'm not a flying pink donkey, which, by the way,
is a vegetarian.
Dracky: *bites Rowen anyway*
Rowen: *pulls a handful of grass out of a conviently placed plot
hole and shoves it in Dracky's mouth* Enjoy!
Dracky: ...
Kento: Hey, it's over. We can leave now.
Ryo/Rowen: *out like a shot*
Kento: ... *leaves*
tiakall: *yelling in the distance* ARTY-CHAAAAAN!