The Good, the Bad and the Ronins
Written by Artemis Densetsu, MSTed by "Do you even have to
ask?"
Ryo-chan: *looks* It's one of Arty's fics.
Riikii: Very good, Ryo-chan.
Ryo-chan: Why are you MSTing one of HER fics? I thought you liked
her!
Riikii: I do, and this is one of my favorites. But she requested
it MSTed. Life is so hard sometimes...
Ryo-chan: ...
Disclaimer:
Kento: We actually like this fic.
I don’t own the Ronins Warriors. Though, wouldn’t be to bad if I did.
Riikii: If you did I'd move in with you.
Rowen: Where would she fit everyone?
^_^ Anyway, this is what happens when Wild Wild West comes up much to often.
Ryo: Course, the fact that every time it comes on Riikii's Winamp, she yells "Song's on!" doesn't help.
PG-13, very strong language
Sage-chan: This isn't anything compared to Riikii's mouth when
she's doing computer programming.
Riikii: -__- Did you HAVE to bring that up?
Ryo-chan: Could Riikii not talk Seiji-chan and Shin-chan into
doing MSTs this time?
Cye-chan: Actually, Shin-chan said something about watermelon.
Riikii: ...the hell?
Alternate Universe
Talpa-chan: Where Elvis is the queen instead of the king.
Riikii: o_O;;
Chapter Two
Rowen: The chapter that comes between one and three.
Dais didn’t let go of Artemis
Ryo: O_O Dude, I thought Arty liked Cale-chan!
Kento: Yeah, and I thought Dais was gay.
until they were outside. He nearly threw Artemis down on the ground.
Ryo-chan: Domestic abuse!
Riikii: Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
He was about to throw Skippy at her
All: *crack up*
but instead just dropped the squirrel.
All: Damn!
"Kitties!" Artemis cried out. "Big kitties!"
Sage-chan: Dude, she is SO on top of it.
"Wha-?"
Riikii: So is he.
Dais said afraid to ask.
Ryo: We don't blame you.
He turned around and saw what Artemis was talking about.
There, where horses were left when someone went inside the tavern
who had a horse, were two large tigers. One was a white tiger and
the other was a black tiger.
Artemis walked wide
Kento: *stares, then catches himself* ^_^;;
Talpa-chan: Shake shake shake...shake shake shake...shake your
bootie!
towards the tigers. She would have gone right up to them if Dais hadn’t grabbed her.
Talpa-chan: WHOOHOO!
"You idiot! Those cats can be dangerous. I don’t understand you. You act like an idiot but you can rob a bank and not get cached."
Rowen: Probably because cached is something you do to a computer.
"Let go!" Artemis yelled.
Talpa-chan: Bad touch!
Skippy looked at the tigers. Dais dragged Artemis over to
their horses.
"Skippy!" he yelled.
Ryo: Wasn't that a peanut butter?
The squirrel hopped over. He let go of Artemis. "Get on your
Riikii: Bus.
Talpa-chan: Hearse.
Riikii: You are so weird...
horse."
Talpa-chan: I was close.
Artemis stuck her tongue out at him and got on her brown mare.Just as Dais was getting on his black stallion, Ryo and Sage came out.
Riikii: If you're wondering how such a long phrase escaped
comments, it's cause we gagged Talpa-chan during the intermission.
Talpa-chan: >_< !!
Ryo: We have an intermission?
Ryo didn’t even look at the two as he went to the
white tiger.
"Hey White Blaze," he said as he petted the tiger. The
black tiger looked at Sage who was watching Dais and Artemis.
"You have a problem blonde boy?" Dais snapped
Sage-chan: He bites? o_O
Cye-chan: He's a vampire!
Sage-chan: I always knew there was something wrong with Dais...
at Sage.
"Yeah, you were born,"
Rowen: Most of us are.
Sage said coldly. Skippy shook his head at Sage then
climbed up the brown horse to Artemis.
"Get lost,"
Ryo-chan: And then ask for directions.
Dais said as he got on his horse.
"You’ll end up in jail one day outlaw."
"Don’t make me laugh,"
Riikii: Fine, see if I ever tell you any jokes again!
Dais chuckled
Ryo-chan: ...he laughed anyway.
as he turned around and took off. Artemis was slow
Talpa-chan: Isn't she always?
Riikii: *clobbers him* That's my friend you're talking about
there!
to follow. "Artemis!" he yelled back. He would have loved
Kento: Mille.
to leave her there but their boss wouldn’t like that
to much.
Sage watched Artemis turn around and slowly follow Dais. Skippy
sat backwards on her shoulder looking at Sage. Tia
Riikii: ME! ^_^
Sage-chan: And she says that like she's proud.
came out of the tavern carrying a can.
Ryo-chan: *gives her a disapproving look* You're not old
enough to drink.
Riikii: Like I'd drink alcohol... x_X
She looked ready to kill.
Sage-chan: And that's unusual?
Riikii: *glare*
Ryo: *whispers to Rowen* It's that time of month...
Riikii: 'EY! It is NOT! *thwaps both of them*
Sage backed away from her. Aiming the can, Tia threw it and
it hit Artemis in the back of the head.
"Hey!" they heard Artemis cry out. She looked back at
Tia -who was smiling innocently- then ran off after Dais.
Kento: *eating popcorn* This is better than a soap.
Dais rolled his eyes as Artemis walked into the wall.
Posse: *cracks up*
Riikii: She's actually done that.
Posse: ...
"You damn idiot."
"Dais!"
Dais jumped backwards out of his seat and fell to the floor.
All: *snerk*
"Hey boss!" Artemis said cheerfully like an idiot.
Rowen: Someone has a self esteem problem.
Dais quickly got to his feet. Sure enough, there stood their boss dressed in an all black suit with white strips going down.
Talpa-chan: My namesake! ^_^
Riikii: Why is he dressed like a criminal?
Talpa-chan: ...
He looked like he belonged with the mod
Riikii: o_O He don't belong with me just cause I'm a mod...
or a gang. Skippy was on his shoulder laughing.
Sage-chan: *How* does a *squirrel* laugh??
"Damn rat," Dais muttered. Skippy said a few
things in his squirrel tongue. Artemis walked up to Dais. She had
to stand on her toes to be eye to eye with him.
"Skippy said, if you want to take this outside, then let’s
go."
Cye-chan: The sad thing is, Dais would lose.
"Tell that damn rat I am not going outside with him!"
Talpa-chan: C'mon, you know you'll love it.
Skippy replied angrily.
"He said you’re a gay chicken," Artemis translated.
Riikii: Now there's a disturbing mental image.
"Why I should-"
Sage-chan: *as Dais* Come out of the closet!
Kento: Go Dais!
"Dais! That’s enough!" yelled their boss.
"Yes, boss."
All: *snerk*
Riikii: *as Dais* I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!
"Now, about those orbs," their boss said taking a seat at the table.
Kento: *as Talpa* I need them to complete my marble collection.
Their hideout was large. It was cave that looked more like
a home. A rich, fancy home. "I want you two go get them
before that Ryo and Sage get them."
"Why boss?" asked Artemis.
"Because they can be useful"
"Why?"
Riikii: Why not?
"Because they have great power."
"Why?"
"Because they were made from a mystical armor."
"Why?"
"Because of the armor they were made from."
"Why?"
Posse: *asleep*
"Because the armor was mystical."
Riikii: *ignoring sleeping posse* You said that already.
"Why?"
Riikii: Come to think of it, you've said that several times.
"Because it belonged to a powerful demon."
"Your’s Talpa?"
"Yes, and that’s boss to you!"
Kento: Talpa's having a power trip!
Talpa-chan: *glare*
"Yes boss. Why?"
"Because I’m your boss."
"Why?"
"Because I’m the brain."
All: *wake up and crack up*
"Why?"
"Because I’m smart."
Cye-chan: If he's smart, I'm scared.
Talpa-chan: *more glare*
"Why?"
"Because I’m smarter than you."
"Why?"
Riikii: I haven't figured that one out yet...
"Because you’re an idiot."
Riikii: 'EY! Only I'm allowed to diss Arty!
"Why?"
Riikii: Because I'll kill anyone else who does. *psychotic
grin*
Posse: o_O;; *scoot away*
"Because you have no brain."
Riikii: Like Talpa does?
Talpa-chan: *yet more glare*
"Why?"
"Because you were born without one."
"Why?"
"ARTEMIS! I AM NOT PLAYING FIFTY QUESTIONS WITH YOU!"
Riikii: Yeah, you only got up to fifteen.
Talpa yelled at her. Dais laughed.
"Keep your mouth, Dais,"
Kento: *as Arty* I don't want it.
Artemis snapped.
"To bad, you’re getting it anyway."
Kento: Dude! That's what I said! o.o;;
"Dais! Shut up!" Talpa yelled. "Vey...my blood pressure."
Ryo: *looks at Talpa-chan* Dude, you have blood?
"You should watch your blood pressure, boss,"
said Artemis. Talpa gave Artemis a deadly glare. Artemis smiled
innocently and hid behind Dais.
"..." was all Dais said.
Rowen: Probably the most intelligent thing he's said.
"If you outlaws are done showing off just how stupid you are,
Sage-chan: What are you talking about? Everyone's a moron in
this fic.
Riikii: Except me. ^_^
may we get down
Kento: Get down, get funky!
Riikii: Kento, hon, have you taken popcorn from Washu again?
Kento: No. Why?
to work?" Talpa asked annoyed. Dais and Artemis sat
down at the table. Skippy jumped up and sat right in the middle
of them all on top of the table. Talpa looked at the squirrel.
"Get off the table, rat."
Skippy let out a few sounds.
Cye-chan: *as Skippy* I'm a squirrel.
Ryo-chan: Or peanut butter.
"Skippy!" Artemis yelled at the squirrel. It replied back to her. "Be nice." Skippy didn’t stop there. "Watch your tongue Skippy." This went on for a few more minutes.
Riikii: Having fun, Arty?
Ryo sat at the bar and watched Tia throw Sekhmet across a table again.
Riikii: WOOT!
"And you enjoy that?" he asked as she came back and went behind the bar.
Riikii: Hell yeah!
Posse: ...
"It’s a living."
Riikii: ^_^ I love me.
Talpa-chan: *dryly* Don't we all?
Riikii: You, especially.
"Hey wench! More beer!" came Cale’s voice.
Riikii: Shove it up your ass and get it yourself!
"How many times I’ve got to tell you Cale? Shove it up your damn ass!
Posse: ...
Riikii: Oh come on, where do you think she got that line from?
I’m not getting you another beer," Tia said
coldly. Sage looked over at Tia then at Ryo.
"She’s nuts."
All: Amen.
"Tell me about it," Ryo agreed under his breath.
Riikii: *grin* Do you really want me to?
Ryo: NO.
"What did you two say?!" Tia said turning around and looking at the two.
Riikii: Did you say I'm insane?! DID YOU SAY I'M INSANE?! Thanks!
Ryo and Sage’s eyes went wide. They put their hands up
in front of them as if to push the thought away.
"No, no, we didn’t say anything," they said
together.
Ryo-chan: And just think. She has this effect on real guys, too.
Tia just glared at them. Just then, Anubis came out of the
kitchen.
"Do I need to hold you back again?" he asked.
Posse: Good luck.
"Shove it up your ass, Anubis."
"Ya know, you really need a new line. That one’s
getting pretty old."
Riikii: Fine. Lui carrer dans l'oignon.
Ryo-chan: Meaning...?
Riikii: Shove it up your ass...in French!
*there's a collective falling over*
Riikii: What?
"No one asked for your two cents for the goddamn cookie jar, Anubis."
Kento: Though if you have two cents, we'll be happy to take it
off your hands...
Ryo: Yeah, we don't get paid enough for this.
Rowen: Dude, we don't get paid at all.
Riikii: It's a labor of love! *_*
Ryo/Rowen: ....
"All right, all right, I’m not asking for
trouble," he said as he got Cale another bear.
"Could have fooled me," Tia said coldly. Tia went on
bad mouthing someone else,
Riikii: ^_^v
Kento came down the stairs. He looked over at her and shook
his head.
"Tia, please be nice."
Riikii: But sadist is so much more fun!
"No," Tia said giving him a deadly evil eye.
"Okay!" Kento said backing away into the kitchen scared
for his life.
Riikii: FEAR ME! Mwahaha.
Ryo-chan: Don't worry, tia, we already do.
Ryo couldn’t help but smile trying to keep a laugh down.
Kento: Pardon me for being rude, it was not me, it was my food, it just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below!
Sage didn’t notice Ryo’s smile. He just shook his
head at Kento who was hiding in the kitchen eating something by
now.
"Well, I got us two rooms for tonight
Riikii: You're not sharing a room?
Rowen: MINE! *glomps Ryo*
Kento: Your love of shounen ai is disturbing to someone who is
straight, you know that?
and tomorrow we’ll get some supplies and then start off," Sage said turning to Ryo. Sage now noticed Ryo smiling. Ryo looked at Sage’s serious face and lost his smile. "I saw that."
Riikii: Whoohoo, male flirting!
Rowen: Mine. You can't have him.
"What?" Ryo said confused.
Rowen: M. I. N. E. I spelled it out for you.
Ryo: ^_^
"You like her, don’t you?"
Ryo: O_O
Riikii: DUDE!
Ryo-chan: WHA?!
"Hell no!" Ryo said trying to get the thought out of Sage’s mind.
Ryo: Whew...
Riikii: Damn.
Ryo-chan: You're already taken.
"Yeah, all right. Yeah sure. GO TO YOUR ROOM!"
All: WHOOHOO!
Rowen: *to Ryo* No, go to my room!
Kento: >_< Dude, that was just way too much information.
Sage yelled. Anubis walked over to the two boys.
"Well, I guess we all now know who the mother
Sage-chan: I'm not a girl.
Riikii: So he says.
Sage-chan: I'm not! >_<
is in the relationship." Ryo and Sage gave Anubis weird looks.
Sage-chan: See?
Riikii: I still think it's debatable.
Sage-chan: Don't make me get Carniss.
Riikii: *gulp*
Cye-chan: Someone SHE fears? I'm really scared.
"Never mind," Anubis said sweet dropping.
Just then, a woman and a child came into the tavern. The woman
had long brown hair and eyes. Her dress was a pale pink and by
the look of it, she was rich. In her right hand, she carried her
matching bag.
Riikii: Matching accessories? EVIL!
In her left, she carried a matching umbrella.
Riikii: More EVIL!
The boy with her also had brown hair and eyes. He wore plainer cloths and was around seven.
Kento: I thought Yuli was eight.
Riikii: YULI! ^_^
Cye-chan: I don't think her obsession with the kid is healthy...
The walked over to the bar.
Ryo-chan: The has legs? o_O
"Oh looky!
Talpa-chan: Lookie lookie, here comes cookie..
All: o_O;;
Riikii: He's lost it.
Ryo-chan: He never had it.
Riikii: True.
It’s Whore’ero Mia," Tia said happily.
"Your mouth Miss Tia, is very unclean
Posse: Duh.
and should not be used around woman and children,"
Sage-chan: Then why are you here?
Mia said calmly back.
"Go spend your money,"
Riikii: Better yet, give it to me.
Posse: *puppy eyes* Please?
Tia said coldly as the little boy ran up to Ryo and Sage.
"Wow! Cool guns! My name’s Yuli. You guys new in town??"
Yuli spoke so fast that it took Ryo and Sage a minute to
understand. Mia and Tia were having a glaring contest with each
other while this went on.
Riikii: *as Tia* Ha. You blinked!
Ryo-chan: *as Mia* Damn!
Riikii: Say it.
Ryo-chan: It's true. I'm a man.
"Uh..hi there kid. I’m Ryo and my
Cye-chan: Boytoy.
Rowen: MINE!
friend here is Sage," Ryo said a little unsure.
Kento: Dude. Should have gone with Arm and Hammer.
Riikii: Or Secret...for a woman's touch!
"Hi..." Sage said giving the kid a nod.
"Are you guys new in town?" Yuli asked again.
"We are," answered Sage wishing the kid would go away.
Riikii: Sage is about to meet the wrong end of my mouth.
Sage-chan: O_O Take him instead. *passes her Cye-chan*
Cye-chan: Et tu, Sage-chan?!
Instead, the kid was joined by Mia.
"Well, hello there boys. You two new in town? Allow me to
introduce myself, my name is-"
Ryo-chan: Mystery guest, please sign in!
Tia jumped over and cut off Mia, "Whore’ero Mia!"
Riikii: I still don't know where Arty thought up that name...
Ryo-chan: I thought you liked Mia.
Riikii: I do, but bashing is always fun. ^_^
After that, Tia fell over laughing. Mia glared at Tia.
"I’ll take it your name is Mia?" Sage said giving
Tia a weird look.
Cye-chan: No, take it her name is Mia.
Mia nodded. "I’m Sage and this is my partner,
Rowen: *glares at Sage-chan* He's mine.
Sage-chan: Fanfic, Rowen, calm down! *scoots away*
Ryo."
"Hi."
Mia smiled and sat next to Ryo. '"So, how long are you two
boys staying in town for?"
Ryo-chan: That's gotta be the worst pickup line I've heard in a while...
She batted her eyes at Ryo.
Ryo gulped, "J-just a day. We head out tomorrow."
"Aw...to bad, you-"
"Forget it Mia. These two don’t wanna-"
Talpa-chan: *enjoying this* Heheheheh....
"TIA!" Anubis yelled
Riikii: Always lowercase! EVIL!
knowing she was about to say something that wasn’t going to be taken the right way at all
Kento: Like we ever take things the right way in the first place?
and would turn into something with Tia ripping off someone’s head at the end.
Riikii: And that's bad?
"Aw, come on, ‘Nubis. You know it’s true. She’s already-"
Riikii: Dude, I don't want to know what I'm talking about.
"TIA!"
"But!"
"Don’t bring it up!" Anubis yelled at her.
"Aw...but I wanna!"
"NO!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
Posse: *asleep*
Riikii: Did you guys not go to bed last night or something?
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
Riikii: *nudges people awake* The end is in sight!
Ryo-chan: Dude, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...
"’Nubis!"
"Don’t ‘’Nubis!’ me!"
Posse: WE MADE IT!
Riikii: Here's your complimentary T-shirts.
"Aw..." Tia went into the kitchen. As soon as the kitchen door closed, there was yelling. "KENTO!
Kento: Yes?
Riikii: I love you! *glomp*
Kento: Er...Okay...
Ryo-chan: ...
Now I have to clean up your damn mess! Can’t you eat like a human being? Want are you? A pig?"
Kento: ;_;
Riikii: *patpat* I didn't mean it, Kenty-no.
Ryo and Sage looked at each. What had they gotten themselves into? These people were crazy.
All: DUH!
Ryo: I have a question. Is Arty going to hurt us for this?
Ryo-chan: No, but Dais might.
Cye-chan/Sage-chan: *snicker* HEY EVERYONE! DAIS AND MILLE ARE
ENGAGED!! *run*
Rowen: Dude, that was signing a death wish.
Riikii: *considers Arty's Dais* Not likely.