The Can You Improve Him Test
By Kat of the Phoenix, MSTed by Riikii and the gang
Riiki: Hey everyone! It's that time again!
Ryo-chan: Oh good. I found my stamp.
Riikii: ....
Ryo: Before we start, I gotta ask...
Riikii: Yo?
Ryo: Does this person call me a river?
Riikii: No. *looks through* But I think you'd better sit this one
out anyway. It's rather, er...
Ryo: If I'm not cursing and I'm not a river I can handle it.
Riikii: No, you can't. Take my word for it.
Talpa-chan: Can we get started already?
Cye-chan: I don't want anyone sticking needles in me this time.
Sage-chan: A qeustion first.
Riikii: *groan* We are never going to get started...
Sage-chan: Is this a self insert?
Riikii: Yes.
Everyone: *puts on anti-ego protective armor*
Riikii: ....
"Hey Kat, Jordan I got
Riikii: Actual intelligence, but it's only enough to get one of you up to the level of beef jerky. Who wants it.
a test here. Wanna try it?" Mia said while waving it in the air.
"What kind of test is it?" Jordan asked while looking up from her book that she was reading.
Talpa-chan: Algebra or Precal?
Ryo-chan: Wrong kind of test. This is a 'do they have a life?'
test.
Sage-chan: I think we need Prettz-chan in here.
Riikii: Why, so he can state the obvious?
"Its call the can you improve him test."
Boys: o_O
Riikii: *snicker*
Ryo-chan: That's not fair! You didn't warn us about immature
girls and magazine tests!
Riikii: *innocent expression*
Hariel-chan: I say she makes Ryo-chan do it!
Ryo-chan: -_-+ SHI-NE! *anime fight cloud breaks out*
Sage-chan: *takes Ryo-chan's Big L stamp and begins stamping
misspellings*
She said while taking a seat in the chair.
"My man doesn’t need improving.
Ryo: Love is so sweet.
Riikii: Her man doesn't, but she sure does.
It’s Kat man that does." Jordan said while elbowing Kat in the side.
Cye-chan: Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, Kat Man!
"Well your man needs a helluva more improvement then mind."
Sage-chan: *stamping*
Talpa-chan: Ooh! Bitch fight! Bitch fight!
Riikii: Mind over man? That's...new...
Kat said to Jordan while stinking her tongue out at her.
Cye-chan: BLEH! What has she been eating?
"Well you two stop it."
Sage-chan: *stamp*
Mia said while looking at the both of them.
Riikii: Wow, what talent!
"So do you guys want to take it or not?"
Prettz-chan: *pops in the door* Do they have anything better
to do?
Riikii: -__- Out. This is a Ronin fic.
Sage-chan: Oh, look, he made his cameo appearance after all.
Prettz-chan: ^_^
"I guess what harm can it do
Murphy: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
any way." Jordan said while looking at Kat.
Talpa-chan: Anyone get the feeling they're really lesbians in
disguise after each other's bodies?
Riikii: TALPA-CHAN!
Talpa-chan: What?!
Riikii: That is just too disgusting to imagine.
Talpa-chan: Why, because they're lesbians?
Riikii: No, because they're poorly written characters as lesbians.
That's an insult to lesbians everywhere.
Ryo: Oh, so you're saying you'd rather have them wished on US?
Riikii: I just can't win today!
"Hai."(1) Kat answered.
Ryo-chan: *gets out of anime fight cloud* Everyone who's ever
watched a single sub or read a decent amount of fanfiction--
Riikii: Hell, if you haven't been living under a rock--
Ryo-chan: --Then you should probably know what 'hai' means.
Riikii: If not, there's always wonderful context clues.
"Ok. First question its Monday night
Cye-chan: Oh, good. It's only Thursday. Guess we'll have to
come back.
Riikii: You ain't gettin' out of it that easy.
Cye-chan: -__-
and your Romeo
Riikii: Must die.
is watching wrestling
Ryo-chan: Gah, what terrible taste.
rather than helping you figure out logarithms.
Riikii: Ooh, how romantic, doing math together!
You can’t get problem 4 to work,
Sage-chan: What, you're stuck already?
but when you call him he says: A) "I gotta call you back." Click.
Cye-chan: Jackass!
Riikii: O_O .... o_O
Cye-chan: What?
Riikii: Are you alright?
Cye-chan: *sweatdrop*
Ryo-chan: Did he just say what I thought he said?
Sage-chan: *nods numbly*
Cye-chan: -__-
B) I’ll help you, but only until the commercial break is over."
Ryo-chan: Oh come on, it's wrestling. You're not missing much.
Riikii: Except a few billion brain cells.
C) (grudgingly) "OK, let me pop a tape in the VCR and I’ll be right over."
Riikii: Okay, this is just portraying men as jerks just a bit
too much for my taste.
Sage-chan: o_O And this from you?
Riikii: *thwaps him* See what I get when I try to compliment your
half of the species?
Did you guys getting and answer for that one." Mia said while looking up at them.
Sage-chan: *stamp*
Talpa-chan: No, they got an answer for that one.
Sage-chan: *looks at him*
Talpa-chan: *shrug* I figured since Cale-chan's not here, what
the heck...
"Hai." The both said.
Ryo-chan: At least this one doesn't have an obvious footnote that you have to scroll through the entire story to get to, so by the time you find it you forget what you're looking for.
"Good next one
Next one: Thanks!
He’s agreed to come to your parents’ holiday fete. But his wardrobe needs work!
Riikii: I'm sure if Nico or Ki-chan were here, they'd comment.
Sage-chan: But you have no room to talk, oh she who cannot match
colors.
Riikii: -__-
When you offer him
Sage-chan: A breakup, which he is happy to accept in your cases.
one of your older brother’s ties, he A)
Riikii: No, it's Q!!
refuses to wear it, claiming that a polo shirt qualifies as semiformal.
Riikii: Is it just me or are these answers extremely stupid?
Talpa-chan: That's not an 'if' question.
Riikii: Grrr... *thwap!*
Talpa-chan: Itai! *rubs head*
B) shows up wearing a collarless shirt in what he calls a Gandhi-inspired act of passive resistance.
Cye-chan: *muttering*
Sage-chan: Geez, Cye-chan, didn't know you could make a trucker
blush.
Cye-chan: Will you guys leave me alone already?!
Riikii: Cye-chan....hon...where did you learn all those words?
Cye-chan: Shin-chan...
-chans: *fall over*
Riikii: Well, that explains it!
C) admits that it does look pretty cool. Mm Ryo would go with letter b."
Ryo: Okay, I admit I don't like formal occasions, but I'm not
rude! Mia doesn't know me very well.
Hariel-chan: So, Riikii, which does Ryo-chan get? A, B, or C?
Riikii: J.
Ryo-chan: *glares and tackles Hariel-chan again*
Riikii: Boys, boys.
Mia said while shaking her head. Kat gives her a funny look.
Talpa-chan: Funny as in queer?
Riikii: Will you stop trying to make all the girls lesbians?
Besides, Mia is not a lesbian.
Talpa-chan: How do you know?
Riikii: Because the only other girl on the show is Kayura.
Talpa-chan: *tries to imagine Mia and Kayura as a couple* o.o All
right, you win.
"Guess you’re right Mia my bro
Ryo: Waaaaaait a minute. Back up. Hold on. Did she say bro? As
in, ME?
Riikii: Welcome to the world of self-inserts, Ryo.
Ryo: But...I don't have any siblings.
Riikii: Yeah, I think the author is forgetting that Ryo is an
orphan and both his parents died when he was young...
Ryo: *sniffles*
Riikii: *slaps forehead* Whoops...I'm sorry, Ryo...
Talpa-chan: I have a feeling incest is going to come into this.
Riikii: -__- I'm about to duct tape your mouth shut.
would go with letter b, but Sage will go with letter c."
Cye-chan: Sorry, Sage, the car was hidden behind letter A!
Kat said while looking at her.
Talpa-chan: *opens mouth*
Riikii: TALPA-CHAN!
"What’s the next one Mia?" She said turning back to her paper.
"Number 3 is the Eco Coalition
Riikii: Interesting afterschool club.
is selling paper poinsettias
Ryo-chan: Paper Pointsettas? Not asking...
to be distributed in homeroom the day before break. To be sure that you’ll receive a greeting, you have to A) just tell your guy that paper poinsettias makes you want to smooch.
Cye-chan: GAH!! Not every relationship focuses on KISSING, you know!!
B) put sticky notes on your sweetie’s notebook, locker and forehead.
Sage-chan: That sounds like Riikii.
Riikii: -__- I'm forgetful. I can't help it.
C) send one to your self. It’s easier. I guess I’ll have to go with letter c on this one." Mia mutter.
Sage-chan: *continues to stamp*
Riikii: Note how easy it is to distinguish the question from the
conversation.
Ryo: It is?
Ryo-chan: Sarcasm, Ryo, sarcasm.
Ryo: Oh!
"Will Mia what is number 4?" Jordan asked her.
"Number 4 is your honey has offered to take you out to dinner on your two-month-and-five-day anniversary;
Riikii: Gad, some people really HAVE nothing better to do...
translation: chalupas at Taco Bell.
Cye-chan: And is there something wrong with American Mexican
food?!
Riikii: Well, yeah. I don't like it. But that's just me.
Cye-chan: -__-+
When you suggest the new Ethionpian place, he A) agrees but demands a two-month-six-day dinner at Taco Bell. B) says cool; he’ll try anything once.
Boys: Finally, something sensible!
C) refuses. If there’s no bit’s o ground beef, it ain’t dinner."
Riikii: Beef, it's what's for dinner!
Sage-chan: *stamping in background*
Ryo-chan: Hey, that's MINE!
"Hi guys what you doing." Said a familiar voice in the doorway.
Hariel-chan: It's Talpa!
"Hi Kento
Hariel-chan: Nope, wrong.
you guys are back al ready?"
Talpa-chan: DUUUUUUUUUH!
Jordan asked with a smile on her face.
Riikii: *sings* My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble...
"Yep we’re back."
Talpa-chan: *dripping sarcasm* No, really. We thought you were still gone.
He said looking at the book Mia has.
Riikii: Oh please. That can't be in a BOOK. It must be a magazine. No one would print that kind of trash in something that you you couldn't throw away or line birdcages with.
"What’s that?" He asks pointing to it.
"It’s a book
Riikii: Magazine.
with a test in it that we are taking." Mia answered him. "You guys ready for the next one?" She asks Kat and Jordan.
"Hai."
Ryo-chan: Again with the obvious 'hai'ing!
Riikii: No, wait, changed my mind.
"Ok. Number 5 you’re waiting for the late bus to arrive when you see him walking towards his car with his lacrosse
Riikii: Okay, let's be honest. How many girls honestly have guys that play LACROSSE??
buds, you A) ask for a ride, putting on your prettiest pout, which he can’t resist.
Riikii: Not all women are manipulative.
Ryo-chan: And not all men are shallow.
Riikii: Therefore we are even.
Ryo-chan: And we both agree that this fic sucks.
Hariel-chan: Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...
Ryo-chan: Shut. Up! *goes after him for the, what, third time?*
B) wait for the bus. He’d make room for you, but it’d be on some guy’s lap.
Talpa-chan: Kinky.
Riikii: That's it. *duct tapes his mouth shut*
Talpa-chan: !! *makes face*
C) stay put, knowing that when he’s with the guys, he’s with the guys."
"What kind of test is this?" Kento asked.
Cye-chan: Social studies, perhaps?
Sage-chan: They use these things to collect statistics on idiots
who would actually take them.
"The can you improve him test." Jordan answered him with a smile on her face.
Riikii: Even the name of the test sounds stupid.
Sage-chan: *cough* Flirt *cough*
Hariel-chan: If I start singing 'Matchmaker' again, will Ryo-chan
understand it's not directed at him this time and therefore not
pound me for it?
Riikii: I wouldn't risk it.
"Eto."(2)
Ryo-chan: Yet more pointless footnotes!
Riikii: You should either use Japanese that people are familiar
with or use it for a specific purpose.
He said while trying to grab the test from Mia.
"Will you go away you baka."(3) She hisses.
Ryo: Mia wouldn't call Kento a baka!
Ryo-chan: I think they said that just so they could use the word
'baka' and show how smart they are.
Riikii: Most people are going to know what 'baka' means.
"Will then I guess I am going to have to tell your men about this."
Sage-chan: *stamp*
Ryo-chan: You're not as good as that as me.
Riikii: Man, that just sounded so lame...
Hariel-chan: *snerk* I'm going to tell your mommy on you!
He said while walking out the door.
Ryo: I just realized something.
Riikii: Yo?
Ryo: They never did set up the setting, did they?
Riikii: o.o Ye gods, we're almost halfway done with the fic, and
we didn't realize this??
Ryo-chan: There's a chair...I noticed a chair.
Riikii: *falls over*
"Ok where were we.
Ryo-chan: That's what we're trying to figure out.
Oh yea number 6 you head to the library to work on your geography project. Your guy is already there, sitting with Georgia, the class flirt.
Sage-chan: You mean Jordan.
When you give him the evil eye,
Cye-chan: It's a sad world we live in where you can't even trust your guy (or girl) with another girl (or guy).
he says: A) nothing. In fact, he still hasn’t noticed you 20 minutes later. B) "Hey. One sec. I need to get the notes copied down from Georgia." C) " Thank god you’re here. I’ve been desperately trying to escape her."
"Tadaima."(4) Said a familiar voice.
Riikii: *has to go look up meaning at the bottom of the fic* -__-+
Ryo-chan: Yet more pointless Japanese!
"Okaeri(5) Ryo, Sage, and Rowen. How was your trip?" Mia asked them.
Riikii: Okay, I got it. Tadaima means 'I'm here, I'm here'
according to this person. Hmm, wouldn't that be 'Tadaima,
tadaima'?"
Sage-chan: Good, can you go get Okaeri?
Riikii: *whimper* I gotta go all the way back down??
"It was ok I guess." Sage said while walking over to the couch Kat was on. "It would’ve been better you were there." He said while giving her a kiss on the check.
Sage-chan: *gags*
Talpa-chan: *whips off duct tape* She's a lesbo, Sage. *puts it
back on before Riikii gets back*
Ryo: ....
Riikii: *comes panting back* Okay...Okaeri...welcome...back.
"He’s right it would have been better if you girls were there." Rowen said while looking at Jordan.
Ryo: Waaaaait a minute here, I thought Kento was her boyfriend!
Sage-chan: Not only is she cliched, but she's also a adultress.
Riikii: Do I sense a love polygon?
"And what’s this we hear that you guy are taking some kind of test." He said take a seat next to Jordan.
Riikii: Why is it that EVERY SINGLE TERRIBLE RONIN WRITER IN
THE WORLD makes Rowen sound stupid?
Sage-chan: *stamp* I think it's just the misspellings that make
it seem that way.
"Yea Kento said it was some kind of test how you can improve him in bed kind of test or something like that." Ryo said while sitting next to Mia.
Ryo: O_O ......
Riikii: Ryo, sit down. Quickly.
Ryo: *makes incomprehensible noises*
Talpa-chan: *takes off duct tape* So now we know what's on your
mind, Ryo.
Ryo: *passes out*
Riikii: TALPA-CHAN!!
Ryo-chan: Dear kami, spare us. Get this author's mind out of the
gutter!
Riikii: *beating Talpa-chan* They can't. It's stuck.
"No it not that kind of test. It’s a test called can you improve him kind of test." Mia said while shaking her head.
Riikii: I still think that's a really lame name.
"Oh." The guys said.
Ryo-chan: Oh come on, we're a little more intelligent than to just say 'oh'.
"Ok two ready for the next one."
"Hai."
Ryo-chan: The 'hai'ing is about to drive me up a wall.
Riikii: Somehow, I knew I shouldn't have done this fic...
"Ok. Number 7 as a member of the Young Republicans Club, he has some strong political views, most of which you disagree with. When you spark a discussion, he A) is willing to listen to your opinions, as long as you listen to his. B) Soon realize that you’re right. He should: you are right, always.
Riikii: It's disgusting to think that some girls actually think this way. This fic is insulting to both halves of the species!
C) gets defensive and walks away."
"When you are done with this do you want to go up stairs and have some fun?" Ryo said to Mia while running his finger up and don her leg.
Sage-chan: *tries to ignore this part by stamping*
Ryo-chan: .......no. Just......no.
Riikii: What was this story rated again?
Cye-chan: This is the Ronin Warriors, not the Ronin Pimps.
Riikii: O_O *falls over*
Cye-chan: What?!
Sage-chan: I don't think we'll ever get used to you saying things
like that.
"Ryo." Mia gaps.
Sage-chan: *stamp*
Riikii: -____-
"Will you two
Talpa-chan: Lesbians!
Ryo-chan: Baka, Ryo's a guy.
Talpa-chan: That hasn't been proven.
Riikii: I'm about to pass out myself.
Ryo-chan: Shi-ne. *clobbers Talpa-chan*
lovebirds over there knock it off so we can get this shimatta(6)
Ryo-chan: Not only is it more pointless japanese to make the
author look smart, it's DIRTY pointless japanese to make the
author look smart!!
Riikii: That really doesn't fit grammatically.
thing done." Kat said while looking at them.
Hariel-chan: Why, I thought you were enjoying it before.
Cye-chan: The sooner they get done, the sooner we can leave.
"Ok number 8 he’s not exactly quick with flattery, but you plan to change that with your new dress and funkster boots. When he sees you in the hallway he A) smiles and mouths "diva." B) waves and keeps on walking. Is he visually impaired. C) says proudly to his friends, "Don’t you just wish she was your girlfriend."
"Are you almost done?" Ryo asked impatiently.
Ryo-chan: Probably the most sensible thing he's said so far.
Ryo: *moans*
Riikii: No! He can't wake up yet!
Ryo-chan: *sharply* Why? Is there something you're not telling
us?
Riikii: *squeaks* No.
"We have two more Ryo my koibito.(7)" Mia said to him.
Riikii: Lover. I remember that one. I'm not going back down
there.
Sage-chan: PEOPLE!! Ever heard of MARRIAGE?!
"Well hurry up then."
"Ok number 9 you’re finally perfected your solo for the talent showcase, which falls on the same night as your guy’s big game. When you try to convince him to come he A) tells Coach he’s got 24-hour malaria and attends the show in disguise. B) compromises: if you perform last, you can make the first half of the game and he’ll try to make it to your act. C) explains that he can’t go, he’s got some West High booty to kick."
"Oi (8)
Riikii: Er...Oi is Yiddish, not Japanese...
mina-san(9)." Said a little boy.
Ryo-chan: This isn't a Sailor Moon fic. Mina's not here.
"Oi Ully has it going?" Ryo answers.
Ryo-chan: His name is spelled Yuli, not Ully.
"Fine. What are you guy doing?"
Sage-chan: *stamp* That single guy thing again...
"The girls are take a test."
"Oh."
"Mia what is the last one." Kat said wanting to get this thing over with.
"The last one is when he first kissed you, it was like a slug crawled into your mouth and died.
Ryo-chan: Oh how complimentary.
Riikii: -___- This really is a shallow world the author lives in.
After you gave him some subtle pucker pointers (straight from "The Boyfriend Clinic," page 66)
Ryo-chan: Just be a bitch and rub it in his face!
Sage-chan: Pointers...on kissing? o_O
Riikii: I knew it was a magazine. No book would print crap like
that.
A) the slug flails a bit. Hey, he’s trying. B) he’s offended and enacts a kissing boycott for the next three weeks. C) he suddenly becomes the sultan of smooches. Ok now it is time to add up your score and here is the answers." She said holding the answers out to them. "1) A=1, b=2, c=3, 2) a=1, b=2, c=3, 3) a=3, b=2, c=1, 4) a=2 b=3, c=1, 5) a=3, b=2,c=1, 6) a=1, b=2, c=3, 7) a=2, b=3, c=1, 8) a=2, b=1, c=3, 9) a=3, b=2, c=1, 10) a=2, b=1, c=3."
Riikii: I suppose the entire purpose of the points is if the
readers were rating their boyfriends.
Ryo-chan: Give the readers SOME credit, Riikii. They aren't that
shallow.
Riikii: Ryo-chan. Who would read this?
Ryo-chan: Point taken.
"So Kat what did you get?" Sage asked her while nibbling on her ear.
Sage-chan: o_O
Riikii: If that isn't out of character, I'll eat my shorts.
Talpa-chan: Better not say that, Riikii. The author will demand
your panties instead.
Riikii: o_O EW!!
Ryo-chan: Um...Talpa-chan...The author is a girl.
Talpa-chan: Supports the whole lesbian theory, doesn't it?
Riikii: TALPA-CHAN, I AM NOT A LESBIAN!! *brains Talpa-chan with
a frying pan*
Talpa-chan: @_@
Hariel-chan: Man oh man, was he asking for that.
"I’ve got 30. Is that good Mia?" She asked.
"Yes. And there is something to go with your scoring." Mia said to her. "You want me to read it to you?"
Ryo-chan: No.
"Hai kudasai(10)."
Ryo-chan: Damn.
"Ok if you got 24-30 points he’s New and improved? And this is what it said this guy is putty in your hands.
Riikii: -_____- Girls are not that manipulative! Right, guys?
-chans: *silence*
Riikii: .... *glare*
Since you’re been together, you’re converted him to a kissing pro and a foxy fashion plate. Congrats, but keep in mind that any improvement your sweeties make should be his own accord, not because he’s a sucker for a pretty girl.
Ryo-chan: And guys aren't that shallow.
According to Anthony Badalamenti,
Hariel-chan: What the heck kinda name is that?!
ph. D., a psychoanalyst and author of How to Have Your Way With Men,
Hariel-chan: Okay, this is when it turns into total bullshit. No GUY would ever write a book on how to manipulate us!
"Women do have the emotional power to drive change. But what’s important is the motivation behind that change." If both of you are happy with the new him, wonderful. But make sure that even as he learns to listen to your left-wing views, he remains the same guy you liked in the first place."
"So is that it than Mia she is done now?" Sage asked.
Riikii: Pushy, pushy, pushy.
Talpa-chan: That doesn't sound right.
Hariel-chan: How can you still be awake after that?
Cye-chan: How can you still be alive?
Riikii: Nothing does to you, Talpa-chan.
"Yes Sage she is." She said to him.
"Yoshi."(11)
Sage-chan: Mama meia!
Riikii: I'm not going back down there.
He said while getting up off the couch and turning around to pick her up in his arms. "Ja ne."(12)
Riikii: Hopefully you know what this one means.
He said while going out of the living room.
"Matte(13)
Ryo-chan: More pointless Japanese. Use the context clues since
Riikii is on strike.
Riikii: Note to self, no more fics with footnotes.
Sage I want to see what Jordan and Mia got on it." Kat said while garbing a hold of the doorframe.
"Ok but after that we are going up stair ok." He said to her with a purr.
Cye-chan: Ronin pimps, to bed!
Riikii: *falls over* I guess we shouldn't have sedated him that
last time...The drugs have altered his brain.
Hariel-chan: Trying to imagine Sage PURRING is about as difficult
as trying to imagine...
Riikii: Yuli sexy.
Hariel-chan: *falls over*
Sage-chan: HEY!
"Yes my little kiobito."
Sage-chan: *cough* Slut *cough*
"Ok Jordan what did you get?" Mia asked her.
"I’ve got 21." She answered.
"Room for improvement (17-23 points) this guy is living proof that you can dress him up and take him out, if you’re willing to compromise, too. In this relationship, each of you tries to please the other, stuffing your faces with both Ethiopian cuisine and Taco Bell. "The easiest way to change somebody else is to change yourself." Says Badalamenti.
Hariel-chan: That guy with the weird name again!
By making small sacrifices (like taking the bus home instead of squashing into his car), you’re not just changing him, you’re improving yourself. And when he slips, lacrosse stick in hand, into the audience of the talent show, you’ll know the effort has paid off."
"Ok Mia what did you get on it?" Ryo asked her in his bedroom voice.
Riikii: The high hentai content of this fic is making me ill.
Ryo-chan: Basically because there's no romance, just hormones?
Riikii: Pretty much.
Hariel-chan: Now, if it's you two together--
Riikii: *brains Hariel-chan*
Ryo-chan: Thanks. I was getting tired of beating him.
"Will I’ve gotten a 12 on it." She answered.
"A 12 is that good." Ryo asked confuse.
Ryo-chan: *takes his stamp from Sage-chan and stamps*
Ryo: *wakes up* Huh? What'd I miss?
Riikii: Oh...not much.
"Well I guess."
"Why don’t you read what it said Mia." Kat said to her.
"Ok. Lets see if you got 10-18 points your guy is the Same Old, Same Old. In spite of all your valiant efforts, this guy is cemented in his political views and his Monday night wrestling schedule.
Ryo-chan: No taste. I bet he voted for Ross Perot.
"When a guy is unwilling to experience new things, it’s a sing of his rigidity," says Badalamenti. Still, a guy who’s stuck in his ways is usually stable and reliable. His rigidity becomes a problem only if he’s not willing to sacrifice at all for a relationship.
Ryo-chan: And how about the girl? Does her ability to
sacrifice for a relationship--
Riikii: Not that I'd call anything here that.
Ryo-chan: --not matter, Mr. Dude-with-the-dumb-name?
So test him out. "If you tell him there’s no pressure to change, he might become more flexible," suggests Badalamenti. If he doesn’t change, and Mr. Right is actually more like Mr. He’ll Do, refocus your energy: look for a boy closer to your ideal instead of taking the trouble to change this one." After she finishes reading it she sets it down on the table. Kat, Sage, Jordan, and Rowen all look at Ryo you looks a little sick from what she just read.
Ryo-chan: So the idea of getting frisky makes him happy but
being told he's rigid makes him sad?
Talpa-chan: That's contradicting.
Ryo-chan: Hentai. Next I know you'll start hitting on me.
Talpa-chan: O_O ....
Riikii: FINALLY! Someone shut him up!
"Will Ryo I guess you better change or Mia might find another man to satisfied her needs."
Ryo-chan: For carnal pleasure.
Kat said while garbing Sage’s hand and pulling him towards the stairs.
Sage-chan: I'm going to stop coughing now. Slut.
"You know she right you do need to treat her better
Sage-chan: Yeah, she needs you in her bed more than twice a
week.
Riikii: We're all going to be perverts before this fic is done.
or you might lose her." Jordan said while given Rowen that you want to go up stairs and have some fun kinda look.
Riikii: My question is, where is the author getting all this crap?
"Mia do you think I need to change because if you do I’ll try." Ryo said in a soft voice.
Ryo: Yeah! I'm flexible! I can change!
"No Ryo I like you just the way you are and besides you can act really romantic when you want to if you know what I mean." She said while putting her hand on his shoulder.
Ryo: Errrr...
"Thanks Mia." He said while turning around to face her. "Mia."
"Yes Ryo."
"Do you still wanna go up stair and fool around."
Ryo: O_O *passes out again*
Riikii: Shit. And we almost made it, too!
Hariel-chan: Should someone call an ambulance?
"Sure." With that Ryo picks her up in her arms and heads up stairs.
The end
Riikii: And so, the Koji mansion became known as the Ronin
House o' Big Pimpin'. All the characters in the fic, even those
without girlfriends, had their hormonal and superficial
satisfaction even though none of them were married.
Ryo-chan: Later, when all the girls were pregnant, and didn't
have abortions, the guys refused to pay child support and ran out
of them, leaving the typical American ending for teenage sex.
Hariel-chan: Well, whaddya know. A MST with a serious theme in it!
Sage-chan: *picking up Ryo* People, sex does not make you look
cool. Ever seen one of those stinky guys with the beer gut
scratch their ass in public? That's what you look like when you
go walking the streets.
Hariel-chan: Just for your added amusement, we even MSTed the
footnotes.
Ryo-chan: What, like we haven't had enough of this fic?
Riikii: NOOO! Not the footnotes!
1. Hai means yes
Talpa-chan: *sarcastic* Iie.
2. Eto- let me see
Riikii: There's nothing funny you can say about this one. It's
just pointless Japanese.
Ryo-chan: Haven't we been over this theme before?
3. Baka- idiot
Talpa-chan: No duh, baka! *twaps author*
4. Tadaima- I’m here, I’m home
Riikii: Whoopsie! It's 'I'm here, I'm HOME.' My mistake!
Everyone: *falls over*
Riikii: Hey, run ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE, you think a couple
letters' difference will stick in my mind?
5. Okaeri- welcome home
Hariel-chan: ˇBeinvenidos a casa!
6. Shimatta- damn
Talpa-chan: No kuso, Sherlock.
Riikii: See? Mixing Japanese curses with English just doesn't
sound right.
7. Koibito (kio) lover
Sage-chan: Useful to know if you're this author, she used it often enough.
8. Oi- hey
Riikii: This is Yiddish. As in, 'oi vey'. It's not Japanese.
9. Mina-san- everybody
Mina-san: Hi!
Riikii: *pushes her out of the room* I think they meant minna-san...
10. Kudasai- please
Talpa-chan: Oh, come on, how many gags can you get out of 'please'?!
11. Yoshi- good, alright
Cye-chan: Or a character in many Nintendo games.
12. Ja ne- see ya
Riikii: Something we're going to say now.
13. Matte- wait
Riikii: Something we're not going to do. And kami preserve us
if we ever encounter another fic like this again...
Ryo-chan: *looking at Ryo* You are just out to kill this kid,
aren't you?
Riikii: Hey! I tried to stop him!